Originally uploaded by Road2Chaos
We had a playdate scheduled for this morning with another set of twins and two singletons. Cohen had a bit of a snotty nose, so he stayed home with Daddy, and Kason & I went. It was really quite interesting. We have taken the boys out by themselves a couple of times, but only to go shopping. This was the first time either of them have been taken to play somewhere without the other. This was not a new place, nor new people. We have known all of the others that were there since Kason and Cohen were about eight weeks old, we have also spent a fair bit of time at the house we were out. However, Kason was so lost without his buddy :-( When we got there, I sat Kason on the floor with the other set of twins (B & M - it was their house) and gave him a couple of his own toys. He just sat there and looked around. He seemed stunned that Cohen wasn't there - the look on his face almost broke my heart. He was so upset, so I picked him up and gave him a cuddle. After he had calmed down, I put him back on the floor to play and he would. not. let. go. of my arm. He ended up spending the rest of the playdate snuggling with me. When we got home, and they saw each other, they just grinned and made sure they were within reach of each other for the rest of the afternoon.
It's hard to know what to do...do we make more of an effort to take them places to play without their brother so they can learn that they are ok by themselves, that they can still have fun and interact with others, even though it will upset them until they get used to it? Or do we make an effort *not* to take them out to play separately because it upsets them so much?
My gut tells me to give them more time 'out of their comfort zone'...but is that mean? Especially because I saw how upset it made Kason to be somewhere that wasn't his home without his brother. It's like Cohen is his security blanket - if Cohen is there, everything is fine, and it's ok to play with the others. It would be interesting to see if Cohen acted the same if he was in the same position.
I guess a solution could be to have a playdate come to our place, and Simon take the other lil dude out. Then the boy who stays to play is at least in his own home and has that piece of familiarity. That just might be a plan!